by your side*/}

perfect is but an illusion.

Monday, August 30, 2010, 2:00 PM

Boarding the ship, i expected to get a break from home. Things have been bad for a while, and I've finally saved enough money to afford a ticket across the Pacific. I lost my father two years ago, but you would think it just happened yesterday. My mother cries all the time, and my siblings are lost without him; we all are. I couldn't take things any longer, and i needed a break.

Meeting Nate was the last thing on my mind. I didn't expect to socialize with anyone; i didn't even expect to leave my room. But on the third night of the cruise, i was already getting a knock on my door after curfew. Earlier that day I'd eaten lunch with Nate, and just met him for the first time the day before. He came up to me and told me he had been starring at me all day and decided he needed to talk to me. He hasn't left me alone since.

I ran to the door expecting it to be the maid asking if i needed towels or something, but when i opened the door to Nate's smiling face i was surprised. "Cute outfit." I suddenly turned red when i realized i was wearing a short pink pajama dress with ruffles on the bottom and purple beads embroidered on the v-neck breast piece. i had a sheer pink robe over it and wrapped it around myself. He laughed. "No, it's perfect for tonight."

i was confused, until i looked at his wardrobe. He was wearing a gray tshirt with a black clip on bow tie and plaid pajama pants. "What's going on?" I asked. He just smiled and took my hand.

We walked up to the ballroom, which was a room i hadn't been to yet. I couldn't believe what i'd been missing. It was a large room with a wooden floor and beautiful dimmed lights that shined on the dance floor. It was on the deck of the boat, and was guarded by huge glass windows. The sun was just starting to set so the whole room was orange. It was the most beautiful thing i'd ever seen in my life. I looked around noticing that there was about ten to fifteen other couples already dancing, and they were all in their pajamas. "It's bedtime ballroom night. Everyone dances in what they sleep in." Nate smiled at me as he took me out on the dancefloor. "Well then explain the cheap bow tie. I know you don't wear that to bed, right?" I said as he laughed.

Everything was perfect. It was better then a dream. I never wanted to forget this moment. Nate's hands rested on my hips as my arms wrapped around his neck. We starred into each other's eyes forever. He was much taller then me, almost six inches to be exact. His hair was short, with a whitish tint mixed in the blond. He wore a black beanie almost all the time, but tonight was the first night he didn't wear one. He had white gauges in his ears, at about a size 0. He was skinny and muscular, just the perfect size for me. The light freckles that lay across his nose were beautiful reminders of my dad. He had freckles just like that. Nate resembled my dad is so many ways, which is why i think he caught my attention so easily.

As we stood on the dance floor, and Nate swayed me back and forth, i was thinking about how things couldn't get any better. Just as these thoughts entered my mind, everything went black. It wasn't from the sun setting, because it was still orange throughout the sky. It was from a large ship that was passing by. Everything happened so fast. The sky turned dark, followed by hundreds of gunshots being fired and the sound of glass exploding.

Everyone fell to the ground, trying to shield themselves from the flying bullets. Nate layed his body on top of me, covering every inch of me and protecting me from anything that came our way. I wrapped one arm around his waist and pulled his body in tighter, and my other hand placed itself on his neck. i buried my face in the other side of his neck, as he kept his head down.

I'd never been so scared in my life. The sound was so loud, every shot sent an echo through the whole room. I wondered if anyone else on the boat could hear. I was sure they could. I let a moan surge through Nate's ear as i felt a sharp pain hit my arm. It felt like a thousand needles had just stabbed me. He asked me what was wrong, and i could hear the fear in his voice. My lips brushed against his neck, as i whispered "I've been shot." His entire body got tense as he began frantically running his hands all over me trying to find my wound, while still trying to cover me. "Where, where?" He asked. I weeped a little and said "Keep your head down."

The shooting felt like it lasted forever, but it was only a few moments longer, until the passing ship's bullets could no longer reach our deck. Everyone lay still on the floor, unsure of their safety to move. The emergency alarms sounded and a man's voice came overhead. "Attention: We have just been attacked. We have no lead on who was on the passing ship or why they decided to shoot. For your safety we ask that all passengers on the cruise stay inside their rooms until further notice. A medic is on it's way to any injured passengers."

People began getting up and running. No one died, only one man was seriously injured. A helicopter flew out and picked him up from a local island and took him to the nearest hospital. Nate immediately looked at my arm, because by this time my blood was dripping all over his neck. I looked down to see the bullet sitting in my arm two inches above my wrist. "Oh god, Jodie. Are you okay? We gotta get that medic over here." I sat still and didn't say a word. Nate left and returned shortly with an older woman in a nurse outfit.

"Let's see what we're dealing with." She said, looking at my arm. "Oh, that's not too serious. The bullet isn't near any bones or muscles, so we can just pull it out like a sliver and bandage it up." and that's exactly what she did.

After we got cleaned up and my arm got bandaged, i asked Nate if i could stay the night with him in his room. I was still scared and he was really worried about me. His eyes lit up and he couldn't agree faster. We walked hand-in-hand together to his room. As soon as i got inside i went straight to his bed and layed down. I was exhausted and all i wanted to do was sleep. Nate took off his blood stained t shirt, revealing his muscle toned stomach. I couldn't help but stare. He was perfect. Everything about him was what i wanted in a guy. I'd known him for such a small amount of time, and yet my feelings for him were growing so fast. Every time i looked at him knots twisted in my stomach.

He lay down next to me, so we both faced each other. "I'm really sorry." he said. "For what?" i asked. He looked right into my eyes. "I wanted tonight to be perfect-" He trailed off. "You couldn't have prevented what happened tonight, Nate! None of this was your fault." He pulled my waist against his, so our belly buttons were touching. "You saved my life." I could tell by the tone of his voice that he was thankful and scared. "How?" I asked. "Your hand was on my neck, remember? If it wouldn't have been there, i probably would've died." I couldn't hold back the tears that started falling down my cheeks. "My dad was killed two years ago. He was shot in the head when he was at war and died instantly. It was the hardest thing i ever went through in my life. He was so important to me. That's the reason i went on this cruise; because i had to get away from my house for a while. I couldn't have lived through you getting killed, too. It would've been too much. I care about you so much-" I started crying to the point where my voice wouldn't stop cracking.

Nate pulled my body even tighter against his. "I'm so sorry about your loss Jodie. You saved my life tonight, and i'm so thankful. I'm not going anywhere." I looked into his eyes and he gently wiped the tears away from my eyes. "You're the girl of my dreams, and i'm so glad you're here with me tonight." Then, without another word, he leaned in and kissed me. His lips were soft and warm - just another perfect quality about him. He was an amazing kisser, and being in his arms that night made me feel like nothing could harm me. I was safe, i was happy. There, on that bed even after getting shot and opening up about my father, Nate and I shared our first kiss. And, that night was perfect.

Freedom.

, 12:49 PM

Picture in your mind an abandoned school. It contains a large gymnasium, over a hundred empty classrooms, and a twenty foot bard wire fence to keep everyone inside. I was kidnapped and taken here, along with my boyfriend, Nate. I don't remember much about how it happened, they drugged me with something.

I woke up in a dark room. The aroma of dead flesh and vomit poured into my system, as i gagged for fresh air. I couldn't see a thing, and all i could remember hearing was quiet breathing. "hello?" i whispered. Nothing. "Is anyone there?" Complete silence.

I began feeling my way around, brushing my hands on the cold concrete floor as i crawled around trying to reach a wall or the person somewhere near me. I bumped into what felt like a leg, and i began moving my hands up the body. as i reached what i knew was a set of rib cages, i began to panic. I was touching a human skeleton. I tried all i could do to scream but only small whimpers came out. i got up on my feet an started to run, hoping i would hit a wall and find a door, because this room seemed endless.

I got a couple strides before tripping and falling over something. I heard a grunt as i hit the floor. i was still whimpering and having trouble breathing. "Jodie?"
I stopped. I knew that voice. I got on my knees and felt my way back to the person i'd tripped over. When i reached them i instantly started crying. "Jodie, are you ok? What's going on, where are we?"

It was Nate.
"Nate, I'm so glad I found you. We have to get out of here! I just touched a corpse!" I felt his body tense up and he said lets go. We both got up and felt our way around. It felt like hours later, but we'd found it. We reached a door, and got the hell out of that room. We took each other's hand and ran down the hall trying to find an exit. Neither of us could remember what happened or how we got there.

The hallway was just as dark as the room was, but it was a straight path so we didn't have to feel our way around. The windows were boarded up and it was cold. The only sound was our panting and footsteps. We saw a light in the distance and headed for that. I was praying it was a way out of there. I wanted to go home. I wanted to lay in bed with Nate and stare at his beautiful face for hours. I couldn't see his face right now. I wondered if he was ok. I could feel dried blood and a large knot on my jaw, so i figured i must've been punched when i was out. But Nate, God i hoped he was alright.

As we reached the light we noticed it was another room. It was a large gym with cracked backboards and missing basketball nets. There was almost thirty other girls in there, who were standing around with tears in their eyes and scars on their bodies. There were men surrounding them, dressed in camouflage outfits and armed in weapons. "what the hell is this?" whispered Nate as we looked through a small glass window.

One by one girls would be taken into one of the abandoned classrooms and they would come back with ripped clothes and bloody faces. We noticed another door to our left and figured that it might be a way out. Nate slowly opened the door and we looked inside. There was enough light that we could see inside and it looked empty. We started to go inside when we heard a pop, followed by a cry from Nate. He fell to the floor. "You think you bastards can get away from us? Think again!" Two of the camouflage men dragged Nate and i into the gym. I looked down at Nate while he held his leg. His hands were full of blood and he had sweat beads dripping down his face. He lay in the fetal position and rocked back and forth. "Oh my god. He's been shot." i thought to myself. Panic came over me as one of the camo men grabbed me by the neck and said "Listen here, bitch. Your boyfriend is gonna die. No use in taking care of him. Just do as we day an you won't be on that floor with him." The men all left in another room and i fell to the ground next to Nate. "Babe! Oh, god. Are you ok? You're losing a lot of blood!"

Nate was crying. I'd never seen him cry before. He'd seen me cry many times, but this was all wrong. "i'll be alright, I'll be alright. i don't think i can walk on it though." I was so scared; more scared about him then myself. A stranger just told me he was going to kill the love of my life. How am i supposed to react to that?

I ripped the sleeve off my jacket and wrapped it tightly around the wound on Nate's leg. I put his arm over my shoulder and lifted him to his feet.

Nate was tall and slender. He didn't weight a pound over 140, on his fat days. He stood six inches taller then me at 5'9. He had blond-white hair that he usually covered with a black beanie. Looking at him now, his hair was dirty and stained with dried blood. He had a two inch long scratch under his eye that was deep and looked infected.

I helped him over to the wall and set him against it. "i'm going to go talk to these girls and see if i can get any information from them." I walked over to the crowd of scared looking girls. I went up to a blond one with dark makeup smeared around her eyes. She was really pretty, and i bet she had potential to model when she wasn't in this environment.

"What's going on?" I asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Why are we here? What do they want from us?"
She looked around making sure none of the camo men were around.
"We've been kidnapped. These men are involved in human trafficking. They want our labor and our bodies. Some girls are pulled in back rooms to have sex with them; others are forced to work until they pass out cold. Once they're done with you, they kill you and you're put in one of those empty classrooms."
"How did we get here?" I lowered my voice.
"They gave everyone really strong sleeping pills. I used to be addicted to sleeping pills though, so it didn't knock me out. It just relaxed me. I saw everything they did to us on the truck over here. They took our stuff, beat us, and even raped a couple people right away."
I felt like i was going to puke.
"Did you see what they did to me and my boyfriend?"
She looked at Nate and said they had sliced his face with a dirty piece of glass. "You must be one of the ones they're saving for last. The young camo guy punched you in the jaw really hard and said something like 'Save her for me'".
I thanked her for the information and went back to Nate. After telling him everything i'd heard, he kissed me. "I love you."

The men walked in with bags of bread and water cups. "Here's your dinner, bitches!" Everyone got a loaf of bread and cup of water three times a day, for our meals. The first meal i scarfed down my bread and guzzled my water. But the next morning and the meals to come, i always gave my food to Nate. He argued at first, but i wouldn't budge. Looking at him, i could just see how weak and skinny he was getting. He was already small, but with the blood he'd lost and the lack of food, i knew he wouldn't survive long unless he got more strength.

I don't know how long we'd been there. About three girls had disappeared and slowly you could see everyone getting sick. They were bringing the blond girl i'd talked to in the backroom almost three times a day, which meant she'd soon disappear too. I cried myself to sleep every night, but i never slept soundly. I woke up with every little noise and constantly checked to make sure Nate was ok.

It felt like we'd been there years. One morning the young camo guy that had punched me woke us all up. "Hey bitches. We have a game for you to play today. It's called elimination. We're getting new girls in here tomorrow and we need to get rid of a ton of you tonight. So get up, let's play."
The object of the game was this.
It was just like dodge ball, but they used a ball with spikes as sharp as knives. The camo men could hit you as many times as they wanted, but you couldn't hit them. The winner was always the camo men. The game was over when you gave mercy or died.

The young camo man walked up to me before the game started and punched me in the stomach, causing me to fall over. The beatings had gotten more frequent, which meant i'd start getting pulled into the backroom.
He pulled me back up by my hair and put his face against mine. "Watch your boyfriend, he's going first."
The game was the most brutal things i've ever witnessed in my life. The ball left blood dripping on the floor and screams were heard when it was thrown. Young camo ONLY threw at Nate. He never missed either. Nate got hit in the back of the leg, on the arms, once on his stomach, and the worst was on his back. The second it hit him, he fell to the ground screaming. I ran over to him. "He hit my spine! It hit my bone. i can't move, i can't move!" I honestly can't describe how i felt at that moment. I was scared, protective, angry, and hurt. I wanted revenge. I wanted young camo to suffer the way he's made Nate and i suffer. I layed on top of Nate, shielding every part of his body that i could. Every few minutes i felt the sharp pain of the ball slam into a part of my body. Every time i'd let out a moan and Nate would try to whisper comforting words to me. He wanted so bad to protect me. He felt like he should be getting those beatings instead of me, but we both knew he was too weak to handle anything more. He was dying, and i knew i needed to get him out of there. After about ten hits to my back, i hear camo scream "Get up, Bitch!" I turned my head to look. He had set the ball down and gestured that i go into the backroom with him.

I slowly got up, still making sure i blocked Nate from camo. "I'm not going to touch your boyfriend, bitch. Just come with me." I looked down at Nate who lay helpless on the floor. I looked back up at camo, as i noticed no other camo men were in the room. then i got an idea.
"Please, i'll do whatever you want. Just please help him. He's hurt, and i just want to lean him up against a wall. I can't lift him by myself, so can you please do it?"
Camo looked at me funny. "Do i look like i care?"
"Please! That's all i'm asking!"
He gave an annoyed sigh and came over to Nate. Nate flinched as camo touched him, but he was so out of it that he didn't really even know what was going on. I looked at camo's belt and saw his gun hanging there, loaded. He carried Nate across the gym to the empty wall and on his way over i very slickly took his gun. When he set Nate down and turned around, he was surprised to see a gun pointing at his face. "Oh, you f***er!" he yelled.
"Go to hell!" i yelled back and shot him between the eyes.

I quickly picked up Nate and said "Come on baby, we're getting out of here." I kept the gun loaded in my hand because i figured there'd be other camos outside. Nate couldn't walk, so i pretty much dragged him out of there. All the camos were inside so i only had to shoot one on my way out. We opened the gate and i dragged him as fast as i could out of there. Slurring he asked, "what are you doing?" I smiled and replied, "Taking you home. I love you so much." He smiled, lifted his head to look where we were going, then before dropping it he said "Freedom."