A special bond has fallen into my lap today. I got to adopt a computer programmed child today for one of my classes. He is a Black baby Boy, and i named him Lil'Dude Crayola. I know, what a name:). Anyways, I got him home, and for the first two hours, he was a little angel. He didn't say a word, and just slept the whole time. But he chose to wake up a little while ago, and full out scream. Well, my key that programs him and reads that i'm his mother, isn't working properly. So he feels as if a total stranger is holding him the whole time. So he's been screaming, and I've been getting so frustrated that i'm on the verge of tears. Thank god, i finally got him to calm down though, and he's sleeping now.

Ahh, kids. After today, i feel like getting my tubes tied. And he isn't even real. I guess that's the whole point of the assignment though. To prove that you're not ready to have a kid at this age. And i sure as hell am not. But it also taught me an extremely important thing. One thing that i needed to realize a long time ago. My patience lately has been a crack short of falling over the edge. I've been frustrated and annoyed and angry at so many things lately. My temper has been out of control. And i'm glad i realized this. Because I want to walk into 2010 being a strong, beautiful, and patient woman. I want patience like the pre-school teacher i have grown to enjoy being around. I want the patience one of my good friends has - she's amazing with kids and loves life. Her smile is an inspiration to me. I want to have patience so i won't get so upset, so easily. And i'm going to work on it. I guess it also doesn't help that I'm sick and having cramps on top of everything else. I'm just stressed. But it's alright. I'll survive.

Everyday is one day shorter until christmas. We have what, about 37 days left? I'm so excited. My mother has already bought candy canes, and i'm half way done with my christmas shopping. I've never been more ready for christmas before, then i have been this year. My madre even made a pie tonight, of course for no reason involving the holidays. But it's still a pie. She makes like, four pies for christmas. So it just made it feel even closer. How so very thrilling.

Here I go again, ranting about this beautiful time of year. But can you blaim me? I remember last year, ahhh, the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me. I was with my current boyfriend (who now, is a total douche who i don't speak to. So don't bring him up around me) Anways, my mother was driving him home after he'd been at my house all night absolutely killing me at Halo 2. Everytime he'd win, I'd get pissed and he'd kiss me and i'd act like i was mad. But, my mom was driving him home, and it started to snow. We were in the backseat, and he took my hand as we looked out the window. My mom turned on the brights, and we looked at the snow flakes hitting the windshield, as the trees and the road began to get a white cover. Oh my, it was the most beautiful thing i've ever seen. And i will NEVER, ever forget that sight.

I think I'll plug a movie in, and call it a night. I'm tired, and ready to just relax. Well, unless my lovely kid starts yelling again - which he will. Most likely all night. So, i need to relax as much as i can. Oh god, i hope he doesn't cry when i'm in the shower. That will not be good.
Gotta Go.

xoxo.