A little about me:
My name is Jodie. I'm a young girl trying to put my life together and figure out where i'm going. I love obese cats, dressing up, and art. This blog is just my place to rant and throw my feelings out into the world. This is my safety zone, i won't hold back what i'm feeling for anything. I guess this is like a personal diary to me, that anyone is free to read. I think life is beautiful, and at the moment i'm spending my time putting mine together.
Reality of Relationships.
Monday, April 26, 2010, 10:18 AM
Today i woke up feeling achy, and my nose feels like i have a thousand needles piercing it. So i stayed home from school. i figured i'd make a blog before going back to bed again.
I've had one thing on my mind lately, and it's driving me crazy. I'm sure you can guess just what i'm talking about. My man, my boyfriend, my babylove, my other half. The past couple of days we've come to the reality of our relationship. His mother is getting married this summer and he's moving. Not far, but far enough that it's not within walking distance of my town of course. Although i'll be getting my license this summer, i don't know if our relationship will be strong enough that we'll really WANT to keep a long distance fling happening. It's difficult currently, because i see him only a couple times a week as it is now. Once he moves, it'll just get harder. We both love eachother, but at the same time, we both want eachother to be happy. I don't want him or myself to be suffering because we're lonely and missing eachother all the time. It's kind of a downer, because i almost feel like our relationship is coming to an end, but at the same time, i don't want to be the bear of bad news, so i'm trying to look at the positives and see that maybe, just maybe, our relationship will work. I can never tell. My life is so crazy every moment, i couldn't ever make plans in advance. Everytime i try to tell the future, it gets all shitted up, haha. So we'll see. I just feel like my head is spinning constantly. I almost feel like i'm going to be one of those robots in those movies where their heads spin so fast, that they pop off! wouldn't that be something.
Back to the point.... I love him. I've fallen in love with him, harder then i ever imagined. And i'll work really hard to keep this relationship going. But reality is setting in, and i just don't know what's going to happen. I guess I'm just kind of preparing myself for what may happen, but at the same time, even if i knew what was going to happen, it's still going to hurt. So i don't know. It just makes me sad everytime i think about it. Because i really don't want to lose him. He means so fucking much to me. You honestly would never understand. We'll see where life is willing to take us i guess.
On my weight loss updates, I'm not really sure what my last update was with my computer crashing; i can't remember. But, i was down fifteen pounds for a while. And the last i checked, i'm still down thirteen. I'm getting a little frustrated because i'm still not losing the weight as fast as i'm wanting. And i don't understand why. I went to the doctors a week ago, and he told me he could schedule an appointment with a nutritionist if i wanted, but i refused because i'm already eating right. I don't need to pay money to hear that i'm doing everything i need to. I guess i still need to up my exercise, and see where that goes. This summer, i really think i'll work hard, because i want to get as tan and skinny as possible, so i'll be outside as much as i can. And if that doesn't work, i'll go back to the doctors and see what else i can do.
i'm feeling very dizzy, so i'll have to finish my blog later.
xoxoxo.
