by your side*/}

perfect is but an illusion.

Monday, August 30, 2010, 2:00 PM

Boarding the ship, i expected to get a break from home. Things have been bad for a while, and I've finally saved enough money to afford a ticket across the Pacific. I lost my father two years ago, but you would think it just happened yesterday. My mother cries all the time, and my siblings are lost without him; we all are. I couldn't take things any longer, and i needed a break.

Meeting Nate was the last thing on my mind. I didn't expect to socialize with anyone; i didn't even expect to leave my room. But on the third night of the cruise, i was already getting a knock on my door after curfew. Earlier that day I'd eaten lunch with Nate, and just met him for the first time the day before. He came up to me and told me he had been starring at me all day and decided he needed to talk to me. He hasn't left me alone since.

I ran to the door expecting it to be the maid asking if i needed towels or something, but when i opened the door to Nate's smiling face i was surprised. "Cute outfit." I suddenly turned red when i realized i was wearing a short pink pajama dress with ruffles on the bottom and purple beads embroidered on the v-neck breast piece. i had a sheer pink robe over it and wrapped it around myself. He laughed. "No, it's perfect for tonight."

i was confused, until i looked at his wardrobe. He was wearing a gray tshirt with a black clip on bow tie and plaid pajama pants. "What's going on?" I asked. He just smiled and took my hand.

We walked up to the ballroom, which was a room i hadn't been to yet. I couldn't believe what i'd been missing. It was a large room with a wooden floor and beautiful dimmed lights that shined on the dance floor. It was on the deck of the boat, and was guarded by huge glass windows. The sun was just starting to set so the whole room was orange. It was the most beautiful thing i'd ever seen in my life. I looked around noticing that there was about ten to fifteen other couples already dancing, and they were all in their pajamas. "It's bedtime ballroom night. Everyone dances in what they sleep in." Nate smiled at me as he took me out on the dancefloor. "Well then explain the cheap bow tie. I know you don't wear that to bed, right?" I said as he laughed.

Everything was perfect. It was better then a dream. I never wanted to forget this moment. Nate's hands rested on my hips as my arms wrapped around his neck. We starred into each other's eyes forever. He was much taller then me, almost six inches to be exact. His hair was short, with a whitish tint mixed in the blond. He wore a black beanie almost all the time, but tonight was the first night he didn't wear one. He had white gauges in his ears, at about a size 0. He was skinny and muscular, just the perfect size for me. The light freckles that lay across his nose were beautiful reminders of my dad. He had freckles just like that. Nate resembled my dad is so many ways, which is why i think he caught my attention so easily.

As we stood on the dance floor, and Nate swayed me back and forth, i was thinking about how things couldn't get any better. Just as these thoughts entered my mind, everything went black. It wasn't from the sun setting, because it was still orange throughout the sky. It was from a large ship that was passing by. Everything happened so fast. The sky turned dark, followed by hundreds of gunshots being fired and the sound of glass exploding.

Everyone fell to the ground, trying to shield themselves from the flying bullets. Nate layed his body on top of me, covering every inch of me and protecting me from anything that came our way. I wrapped one arm around his waist and pulled his body in tighter, and my other hand placed itself on his neck. i buried my face in the other side of his neck, as he kept his head down.

I'd never been so scared in my life. The sound was so loud, every shot sent an echo through the whole room. I wondered if anyone else on the boat could hear. I was sure they could. I let a moan surge through Nate's ear as i felt a sharp pain hit my arm. It felt like a thousand needles had just stabbed me. He asked me what was wrong, and i could hear the fear in his voice. My lips brushed against his neck, as i whispered "I've been shot." His entire body got tense as he began frantically running his hands all over me trying to find my wound, while still trying to cover me. "Where, where?" He asked. I weeped a little and said "Keep your head down."

The shooting felt like it lasted forever, but it was only a few moments longer, until the passing ship's bullets could no longer reach our deck. Everyone lay still on the floor, unsure of their safety to move. The emergency alarms sounded and a man's voice came overhead. "Attention: We have just been attacked. We have no lead on who was on the passing ship or why they decided to shoot. For your safety we ask that all passengers on the cruise stay inside their rooms until further notice. A medic is on it's way to any injured passengers."

People began getting up and running. No one died, only one man was seriously injured. A helicopter flew out and picked him up from a local island and took him to the nearest hospital. Nate immediately looked at my arm, because by this time my blood was dripping all over his neck. I looked down to see the bullet sitting in my arm two inches above my wrist. "Oh god, Jodie. Are you okay? We gotta get that medic over here." I sat still and didn't say a word. Nate left and returned shortly with an older woman in a nurse outfit.

"Let's see what we're dealing with." She said, looking at my arm. "Oh, that's not too serious. The bullet isn't near any bones or muscles, so we can just pull it out like a sliver and bandage it up." and that's exactly what she did.

After we got cleaned up and my arm got bandaged, i asked Nate if i could stay the night with him in his room. I was still scared and he was really worried about me. His eyes lit up and he couldn't agree faster. We walked hand-in-hand together to his room. As soon as i got inside i went straight to his bed and layed down. I was exhausted and all i wanted to do was sleep. Nate took off his blood stained t shirt, revealing his muscle toned stomach. I couldn't help but stare. He was perfect. Everything about him was what i wanted in a guy. I'd known him for such a small amount of time, and yet my feelings for him were growing so fast. Every time i looked at him knots twisted in my stomach.

He lay down next to me, so we both faced each other. "I'm really sorry." he said. "For what?" i asked. He looked right into my eyes. "I wanted tonight to be perfect-" He trailed off. "You couldn't have prevented what happened tonight, Nate! None of this was your fault." He pulled my waist against his, so our belly buttons were touching. "You saved my life." I could tell by the tone of his voice that he was thankful and scared. "How?" I asked. "Your hand was on my neck, remember? If it wouldn't have been there, i probably would've died." I couldn't hold back the tears that started falling down my cheeks. "My dad was killed two years ago. He was shot in the head when he was at war and died instantly. It was the hardest thing i ever went through in my life. He was so important to me. That's the reason i went on this cruise; because i had to get away from my house for a while. I couldn't have lived through you getting killed, too. It would've been too much. I care about you so much-" I started crying to the point where my voice wouldn't stop cracking.

Nate pulled my body even tighter against his. "I'm so sorry about your loss Jodie. You saved my life tonight, and i'm so thankful. I'm not going anywhere." I looked into his eyes and he gently wiped the tears away from my eyes. "You're the girl of my dreams, and i'm so glad you're here with me tonight." Then, without another word, he leaned in and kissed me. His lips were soft and warm - just another perfect quality about him. He was an amazing kisser, and being in his arms that night made me feel like nothing could harm me. I was safe, i was happy. There, on that bed even after getting shot and opening up about my father, Nate and I shared our first kiss. And, that night was perfect.