by your side*/}

The strength inside the weak.

Monday, June 7, 2010, 4:00 PM

Dear Death,

You frighten every part of me. Each bone in my body feeds into jellow, my skin loses color and my voice disappears when you come close. You have power no one in the world can control. You have the ability to end a human life in just a single moment. You need no warning, no reassurance. You just take a life --- like that. People's dreams; their hope. It all dies with the news of their family/friend passing on.

How could you be so cruel? Somtimes you're taking away the only person someone may have in their life. You give them one last breath, then snatch their soul away without letting them say goodbye. Do you take other people's souls because you don't have one of your own?

Surely you realize there is one thing more powerful then you. That thing is love. You may take away dreams, and life. But you can't take away the love shared between specific individuals. That's one thing that lives on forever.

I've lost many friends, as well as family members to you. You've left me crying for days only to choke on my tears. My heart has taken multiple bullets from you, but you still see me chugging along. Love keeps me away from you; love keeps me alive. I'm starting to gain a strength inside me that i've never had. I try not to let myself get hurt by you. Goodbyes are slowly getting easier to say, and realization that someday i'll soon see my good friends again makes things easier. Your strength may frighten others, but i'm done letting it frighten me. Death is sad, and can be draining both physically and emotionally. As i continue to get older, there is more people i know dying. It leaves a giant knot inside my stomach to think someday everyone i know right now will eventually be dead, including myself. I find myself constantly wondering what happens after death. Is everything over? Do we get another chance at life?

i always imagined heaven like being a military. God assigns you with a life he thinks you can handle, and you'd be sent out to try everything new. Suicides were caused by a lack of strength, and god wouldn't punish you for that. He'd simply claim his judgement was off. I guess everyone's vision of heaven is different. Some don't even believe in it.

A recent death just occured that sent my curiousity through the roof, and my stomach through my throat. A very beautiful, intelligent 18 year old boy died of a drug addiction. My heart goes out to his family and to him. They're all beautiful people. This is not an unusual accurance, but the fact that he is so young, and seemed like such a good kid simply makes my insides turn. How could you take such a soul like his with you? It's too great to be in your hands. He deserves to still be alive. He made a mistake, but he isn't a bad person. Love is still keeping his spirit alive, as it always will.

I don't want to die.

I know everyone does someday, but i feel like my time is coming too fast. i enjoy life too much to be in your hands anytime soon. Everyday is a new dream, a new adventure. And my adventures aren't over. So don't think you're coming near me anytime soon.
From ____, with love.

Labels: death, drugs, heaven, love

Underage and in love.

Sunday, May 16, 2010, 6:29 PM

They're underage and only sure of one thing...
Her blood pumps to be in the city. He lives for the countryside acres. They runaway to a field a mile from her favorite city avenue. They lay in the grass and talk about everything on their mind. He makes her laugh at his corny jokes, and she takes his breath away with her honest beauty. His fingers gently twirl around her long chocolate hair as he looks into her golden blue eyes; eyes so beautiful they could leave a blind man wanting more. She talks about dragons, paintings, and waterfalls - all her favorite things. He speaks of music, fire, and dirtbiking - his favorites. He sees her as the most beautiful thing in the world, and he would do anything for her. He loves that she's a vegetarian and has a huge heart. The way her toes curl up when she's cold or how she plays with her ears when she's nervous. She sees things that take her breath away with beauty that most people pass by everyday. Her favorite thing in the world is seeing a firefly light up at night. She lays in the field with him talking about their life together. She tells him she wants him to be the father of all her children. Without needing any explanation, they make the most passionate love ever known to man. They've made love before that but everytime is a step better from the last. They walk down to the city and get some smoothies and salads at a local sandwich shop. she smiles and he takes her hand. he leans across the table to give her a kiss on the lips. They're underage and only sure of one thing..... They're in love.

Labels: cute, happy, love, underage

The Perfect Touch.

Thursday, April 22, 2010, 5:00 PM

The simple kiss, or squeeze of a hand sends chills down every inch of my body. my knees find weakness at the very sound of your voice. my heart melts and spills to my feet everytime you smile. your laugh is addicting, it makes me higher then the most powerful drug.

I don't know how it happened, but you did it. i was so far gone when we met. i wanted anything but a relationship. i was lost, unable to identify anything and i felt like a stranger to myself. But then you changed everything. You found a grasp on my heart and stole it right out of my chest, without any given warning. i fell hard for you, and so far you've done a good job of catching me.

You make me feel so safe when i'm with you. I know you'd never let anything hurt me. You'd do absolutely anything to protect me. And i know i'd do the same for you. Your simple words of "you're beautiful" or "i love you more then you know" mean so much to me. You have a way about you that makes me forget everything in my life and for a moment when i'm in your arms, i actually FEEL beautiful. A feeling that is unusual for me. You've got the perfect touch.

I want to share everything with you, i want you to know how much you mean to me. Life does some unexpected things sometimes. I mean, it brought you to me. Someone too good for me is actually with me. Who would've ever thought? I don't know how long this will last, or how far we'll get. But one thing is certain. I found love. At just fifteen years old, i've gone head over heels. And it's a beautiful feeling that i'm enjoying right now. I've opened up and let myself have the opportunity to get hurt again. But i'm trusting you won't hurt me. You're someone worth taking a chance on.

Somedays you make me want to rip my hair out because i get so frustrated with you. You act like you don't want to talk to me, or you act like you don't care a single ounce about me. But then you realize something is wrong and you send me a simple "i love you" text and i instantly melt. You make me upset somedays, and you make me sad. You make me angry, and even worried. But at the end of the day, i'll always love you. I get over whatever is upsetting me, and we both go back to caring about eachother. i honestly don't think i've ever had someone confuse me so much. My emotions are a rollarcoaster about you. But it's because i've never been in love before, so i'm not used to it.

You're the cutest thing i've ever seen. You probably don't notice, but i stare at you constantly. I can't get over how insanely attractive i think you are. I like you so much, and i can't help myself sometimes. i love just laying on my bed with you listening to your heart beat. You've got the best beating heart in the world. Your lips are soft, and your skin is warm. You're on the verge of defining perfection, and it's so crazy. Who knows what will happen. We may last a long time, or we may not even last through tomorrow. But for now, i'm having fun. I love you. 04.03.10

Labels: love, perfect, touch

I want it now.

Thursday, March 4, 2010, 3:41 PM

i want to fall in love.

i want a real, true, fairytale.

and i want it now.

Labels: love